Photo by Anna Salisbury, Unsplash.com
by Ani King
The garbage bin is tipped over in the driveway and trash covers the small square of the front lawn around the raccoon: paper plates and plastic forks, tampons with toilet paper wrappings unraveling like sperm tails, cotton balls with smudges of Renee’s bright red nail polish, tissues with smudges of your black mascara, and the raccoon stares at you through the window, holding what looks to be an empty chip bag. There’s no food out there, the fridge is still full of all the uneaten post-funeral offerings and styrofoam takeout containers rub and squeak against each other when they’re shoved aside to make room for new ones.
Renee was an amazing cook, your garbage would have been legendary among raccoons just a few months ago, with week old leftovers like enchiladas, curries, pancakes and french toast, barbequed pork sandwich filling, whole chicken carcasses, fucking jello salad, but now the raccoon roots around in the chip bag and comes out glittered in salty crumbs. It looks in the direction of your door, disappointed and you think welcome to the fucking party, buddy.
Renee liked to make complicated soufflés and fussy desserts, but she also liked to make off-brand macaroni and cheese with sliced up hot dogs, then eat it standing over the stove, right from the pot, and you loved how she made everything a feast, your stomach turns over and grumbles imagining her three-layer chocolate cakes and lemon tarts, while the raccoon rolls around in crumpled napkins and fast food wrappers, unsatisfied.
It only takes a few minutes to scrape all the old food into a bag: spoiled casseroles in shades of beige, dotted with green peas and chunks of carrot, old soups, and untouched stews that make you gag, eyes watering at the smell, but the raccoon doesn’t run away when you come running out, screen door slamming behind you, it watches eagerly as you dump a midwestern buffet out on the lawn.
Ani King (they/them) is a queer, gender non-compliant writer, artist, and activist from Michigan. They can be found at aniking.net or on Bluesky.
