Photo by (Augustin-Foto) Jonas Augustin on Unsplash
by Zvi Sesling
“Drunk? I’m not drunk,” I tell the cop who makes me walk on a cobblestone street and of course I wobble, trip and fall, so he calls a tow truck, arrests me for DUI and I get my one phone call to my lawyer, who tells me to meet him in court the next morning and when I see him I tell him what happened, he says, “Well this won’t take much time.”
The judge calls my name “I am representing the defendant your honor,” while the judge looking bored peers over the top of his reading half glasses says, “Very well, counselor, let’s get on with it and asks the prosecutor, “Is the state prepared to present its case?”
The state puts the cop on the stand who says I was driving erratically so he pulled me over on Humbolt Avenue and says, “I asked the defendant to walk a straight line, but he was wobbly and fell over so I arrested him and had his car towed to the city lot and proceeded to drive him to the jail on Woodward Street where he was placed in a holding cell.”
After the prosecution rested my lawyer addresses the judge, “Your honor this police officer detained my client for driving erratically, yet how else can one drive on cobblestones that are more than a century old, let alone walk on them, in fact, where my client tried to walk it is particularly hazardous, your honor, the city is scheduled to pave over Humbolt Avenue for all those reasons.
“The city has determined this particular road presents difficult driving and is very dangerous to pedestrians trying to cross, and, your honor, there are at least fifteen cases the city has settled this year with people who fell on the cobblestones resulting in bruises, a couple broken ankles along with broken bones or twisted knees for all these reasons your honor I ask this care be dismissed, “Yes, this case is dismissed and I warn this officer and others to heed caution on Humbolt Avenue until it is repaved.”
We all leave the courtroom and I really dislike that cop for trying to pin a DUI on me, so a couple weeks later when I read he has been shot and killed by a druggie during an armed robbery at the local convenience store I do not shed any tears.
Zvi A. Sesling, Brookline, MA Poet Laureate 2017-2020. He edits 10×10 Flash Fiction is author of Secret Behind the Gate, Wheels and 40 Stories (with Paul Beckman). He lives in Brookline, MA with his wife Susan J. Dechter.
