Assistant Monster Hunter Job Interview

loch ness

Photo by Lucas Carlini

by Meg Pokrass

Part One:

First time I met the famous monster hunter I was thinking how calm the water looked. I’d been struck with the notion of what it would mean to see her for myself when I saw an astonishing neck—the neck of a one-legged man in a purple jumper and camping hat. It was nearly dusk, and he held a flashlight and net. I hadn’t known exactly where to find him. “I recognize you from the news, Frank,” I said. “You’re standing here alone, wishing for happiness?” he asked. 

Part Two:

Frank unscrewed a flask, looked at me and patted his lopsided moustache. “You girls come out here to interview me and then you leave and go back to your warm, easy worlds,” he said, and led me a few hundred yards to his tent. It had a carpet inside it. “Cosy,” I said. I could see that he was folded tight into his dream. “This is where happiness hides, young lady,” he said.

Part Three:

His voice sounded dry, as if he’d been singing to someone who couldn’t hear him. “Pour us a few,” I said because rain started pinging the top of his tent. It was too late to hike back to my car. We kicked off our shoes, sat on his cot, and I told him that the roof of my fantasy house was shaped like a sea monster’s back. “Maybe that makes me a natural born huntress,” I laughed, and he looked at me carefully. “Never trust calm water,” he said, and kissed me.

Meg Pokrass is the Co-Editor of Best Microfiction. Her new collection of stories, The First Law of Holes: New and Selected is forthcoming from Dzanc Books in late 2024. 

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