Shortlist – 2026 Gooseberry Pie Annual Writing Competition
by Joyce Bingham
The day one of my organs went missing, I was at my book club drinking wine, unaware my heart had fallen into my rucksack; my husband said he thought I was looking a little bit discombobulated, but he couldn’t put his finger on it, so I took a multi-vitamin tablet, then, when I showered, I found a gaping hole in my chest, there was no blood, simply a space.
He said it was the change, and I needed to put up with it; his mother had never complained; seething, I went to work, and I didn’t even wish him a great day, or kiss his cheek and I carried my heavy rucksack around, vowing to give it a good clear out, and include my husband in any Marie Kondo swipe.
My tolerance for wine was at a record low, but it was simply that my liver had gone, there I was, a rucksack as heavy as a Ryan Air carry-on bag and a serious lack of alcohol dehydrogenase; my husband suggested shoving my organs back inside, but by this time, my gall bladder had joined in and I found eating fatty food was becoming a bit of an issue, he said, don’t worry, I’ll look up You Tube, they must have a Restoring Organs TED talk.
A couple of kidneys fell out as I sat on the sofa, and I had to delve into the crumb infested space to fish them out, finding that crochet hook I’d lost into the bargain, at this rate, he said, you’ll need this and proffered a large cardboard box.
The doctor said I had, Organ Surrender Syndrome, and I just needed to diet, reduce my carbs and up the protein; he proffered an alternative treatment to visit a remote Tibetan monastery by foot and give my soul to the mountains; I went for a weekend away with my friends which is just as spiritual, and after a single afternoon in the spa, I could recycle my cardboard box and drink a chilled glass of champagne.
When I got home my husband was sitting on the sofa in his dressing gown, looking bewildered, and on the coffee table was his toolkit containing several of his organs, I offered to look up You Tube.
Joyce Bingham is a Scottish writer, living in the North-West of England, whose work has appeared in publications such as Flash Frog, WestWord, Molotov Cocktail, Bending Genres, and Ghost Parachute.
Photo by Europeana on unsplash
