Longlist – 2026 Gooseberry Pie Annual Writing Competition
by Frances Gapper
Day 9, month 2 of Low Water: as the great god Ra lifts his solar crown above the eastern horizon and I shiveringly prostrate myself on the desert sand, loinclothed runner brings HR/casting director’s papyrus scroll – news I’ve been demoted from Manager of the Queen’s Government to our divine ruler’s personal body slave, main duties snake handling (venomous asp) and floral arrangement.
Jog back to my on-set trailer, not yet reallocated, where I accept deliveries from Best Reptiles (a portable vivarium) and Lilies of the Nile (includes bonus box of figs). Asp is hissing and spitting aspersions through its grille at the poor courier, everyone’s having a bad day.
We did consider using a vegan mix of hemlock and wolfsbane, I tell the asp, which plumes itself on being a suave and sophisticated sort of serpent; yes well it replies with asperity, depends what sort of death you want, quick and painless or howling at the moon.
Asp bosses as I’m gingerly lifting it from tank: hold me by the neck your grip should be light but firm ow don’t drop me I said the neck the neck while supporting the tail stop throttling me Charmian I’m going to have to bite you. Moments later the stars align, my hands know their purpose, asp wriggles down between the long stems of dark purple lilies and snuggles into peat-free compost, I make a few final tweaks to bloom angles and artistic disposal of figs, gauge overall effect et voilà!
Frances Gapper’s stories have been published in five Best Microfiction anthologies, and online in e.g. Trash Cat Lit, Switch, Mythic Picnic, Exposition Review, Pangyrus, Flash the Court and Fictive Dream. She lives in the UK’s Black Country region.
Photo by DesignerVN on Unsplash
