This Isn’t What I Want it to Be

flash fiction

Photo by Ussama Azam on Unsplash

by Allison Field Bell

In the bathtub, she sits across from me. Our legs intertwined underwater. This isn’t what I want it to be: our friendship, not lovers. She tucks her hair behind her ears and tells me she doesn’t want to have children, not ever—how could she, the planet, our country. She wants to tell me a secret, and do I promise to keep it? I nod my head, and she whispers in my ear, breath hot on my neck, that she thinks she’s in love with someone—a man this time—and isn’t it wonderful?

Allison Field Bell is originally from northern California but has spent most of her adult life in the desert. Find her words at allisonfieldbell.com.

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