Photo by George Dagerotip, Unsplash+
by Elizabeth Horner Turner
I’m just so sick of doubloons, you know? They’re everywhere now, laid out on my bar with a crash and a jingle of boots and swagger of hips in those hideous, crushed velvet pants. And oh Lord, let’s not forget the stench of pirate feet. So now I provide free socks with every third drink ordered, and there’s always a thanks, luv handed to me with a wink and a nod but they never put them on, well, not on their feet, anyway. But honestly, for real, all my cards laid out, I’m most sick of all the fucking rum. You’ll never find it in my bar—never.
Elizabeth Horner Turner’s work has been published widely, including Best Small Fictions and Wigleaf’s Top 50. Her fiction chapbook, Horsemouth and Aquariumhead, will be published with Black Lawrence Press in September, 2024. She can be found online: @lhornert
